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martinet: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

martinet: a strict disciplinarian.

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Let's Talk Turkey

Clueless cooks in the process of committing Thanksgiving mayhem call turkey hotlines.

I Wondered Why My Job Description Said "Fluffer"...

Boss to coworker: Mary, please start playing with this huge package.

Medfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: But that's MY package!


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

Just Like It Says in All Of Our Job Descriptions

Facilities manager to entire staff: And for the men in the office, please don't spit chew into the urinals, as it can clog the pipes and is very difficult to remove.
Engineer, joking: Oh, I see, single out the men. What about the girls?
Female QA manager, who actually chews: We don't spit, we swallow.

Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: testcenter cowboy


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

Fortunately Your Backup Alarm Saved My Rear Quarter Panel

Coworker, about near-collision the night before: Mark*, I swear when I looked back last night you weren't pulling out! (entire office collapses in giggles)

Hailey, Idaho


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

...Senator.

Coworker, on phone to client: We provide all sorts of services, it just depends on whether or not you're willing to pay for them.

Edmonton
Canadia


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

Tonight on Logo

Male boss, on phone with male contractor: I'm tellin' ya, man. I need nine inches!

Wentzville, Missouri


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

Um, That's the New Intern.

Branch manager: Maybe it's a seeing eye goat!

Brownsville, Texas


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

Every Day Of My Single Life, in a Nutshell.

Secretary on personal phone call: Oh yeah? You're just gonna fall asleep with your finger on it again?

Lincoln Park, Michigan

Overheard by: T


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

Mind the Generation Gap

Employee #1: Otis Redding.
Employee #2: Otis Redding? Who's that?
Employee #3: Isnt' that the guy from Andy Griffith? The drunk guy?
Employee #1: No. Otis Redding sang that "Dock of the Bay" song. His dad shot and killed him.
Employee #2: No. That's Marvin Gaye.
Employee #1: Marvin Gaye? Who's that?

Van Buren, Arkansas


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

Not the Worst Childbirth Story We've Ever Heard

Cafe register girl: If I hadn't opened my legs, it wouldn't have fallen out. And when it did fall, it made a lot of noise!

Austin, Texas


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-23

benison: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

benison: blessing; an utterance of good wishes.

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Bull Ship

Photographs purportedly show a bull being transported in an automobile.

ponderosa121 [userpic]
in order to avoid homework

bulletpoints!

- Although I managed surprisingly well on cards last year, there's no way I'm going to manage this year. I'm slightly bummed about this, but I think I'll just resolve to send more random letters throughout the year as that's way more fun to receive.

- I made adorable cupcakes at work again. I wish I had an excuse to make them at home, or a whole lot more people to foist them off on.

- The last two episodes of Fringe made me all excited and giddy, even with a brief Not Sure If Want moment in there. I need to get over my tendency to want to fit things neatly in canon and just write the smushy porn that I want to write.

- There is absolutely no way to reply to an anon thread with you as the subject without a) being a dick, b) encouraging the drama, and c) being a dick. I replied anyway.

- There is absolutely no way to blog/tweet/mention replying to an anon thread with you as the subject without encouraging the drama and being a bit of a dick, but it made me laugh. Oh, people.

- I had this big complicated adventure dream with JDM in it last night. It was awesome. Then I had to get up and go to work, which was less awesome, even though our new brunch cook made me Huevos for breakfast.

- Speaking of our new cook, she's been teaching J how to make stuff. Including this awesome grilled tomato salsa which is downstairs right now, calling to me. She's the best.

- I severely need a nap, but if I sleep now I'll wake up at the time which I should be going to bed. Conflict.

affable: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

affable: easy to speak to; also, gracious.

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Red Robin Coupon

Can an Internet-distributed coupon be redeemed at Red Robin restaurants for a free hamburger and sundae?

germane: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

germane: appropriate or fitting; relevant.

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ponderosa121 [userpic]
[FIC] Batman - Batman/Joker - The Frayed Ends

Spam! Wrote this not long after TDK came out but never posted it. Since the evil twin just wrote Joker/Scarecrow with similar elements, I knew I had to post it as the same time as hers or I'd never do it. Team Porn does Arkham. Arharhrh.


The Frayed Ends
Batman. Batman/Joker. R. ~1000 words. Nolanverse. Violence.
Darkness gathers into a swarm around them and Bruce doesn’t want to let the bastard take one more goddamn breath.



Read Me. )

Current Mood: calm calm
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