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abeyance: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

abeyance: suspension; temporary cessation.

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Free Meals for Veterans

Restaurant chains are offering free meals to U.S. military personnel in conjunction with Veterans Day.

Like I Need My Paycheck

Boss: Sue, I need you.
Sure: Aw, boss, I need you too.

Alpharetta, Georgia


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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

One More Step and I'll Blast You Full Of Citrus!

Chipper CSA: I'm showing you completely surrounded by the orange!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: They'll Never Take Me Alive!


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

Abort Conversation! Abort Conversation!

Male employee #1: I am going out on a date tonight with a 4'11" Filipina. She runs triathlons.
Male employee #2: That's short. You know, her head will be at about your stomach.
Male employee #1, after long pause: I kind of want her to break me.

Sacramento, California


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

...Or "Human"

Technology director: No, that's "u," as in "eunuch."

Columbia, South Carolina


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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

You're Forgiven, Santa.

Coworker to office: Woo-hoo! I'm almost done with my list! Then I'm going to have a little party with myself! Um... That didn't sound good.

Seattle, Washington


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

Peer Pressure and Piercings Can Be a Deadly Combination

Office lady #1: I need a haircut like I need a hole in the head!
Office lady #2: Me too! I'm going to get one right now!
Office lady #1: Hey, so am I!

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: i heart cubicles


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

That Exposed-Nutsack Episode Of Friends?

20-something Italian male, loudly: Why do you think I never wear shorts?

Groton, Connecticut


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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

Hot to Get Rid Of a Telemarketer: A Simulation

Boss on phone: I dreamed about pork last night... Is that weird?

Adelaide
Australia


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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

And No One Locked You Inside? Curious.

Worker #1: Hey boss, this safe is over 7 feet tall!
Boss: Oh, geez!
(calls worker #2 over)
He's saying the safe is over 7 feet tall. Do you went to measure it? Why did you tell me it was less than 5 feet?
Worker #2
: Well, when I went to check it I could stand inside it and I'm 5'2"


Nederland, Texas


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-06

randi2204 [userpic]
I can has BDS!

MovieTickets.com lied. Or, well, maybe they don't have more than 4 or 5 days worth of data.

But I AM going to go see Boondock Saints II tonight! Wooo! I watched the trailer yesterday and it made it look awesome (as trailers do).

And I will not be thinking of crossing over BDS and the BtVS-verse. Honest. No matter if Julie Benz is the FBI agent this time. *whistles innocently*

location: w*rk
Current Mood: excited excited
Current Music: Carrie Underwood - Crazy Dreams
felicitous: Dictionary.com Word of the Day

felicitous: apt or appropriate; also, delightful.

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Presented By:

20/20 Revision

Was ABC News' 20/20 co-anchor John Stossel fired for trying to air a piece critical of health care reform?

Better Stand Back

CEO: How big is yours?
Manager: I don't know, I'll have to check.

Freehold, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rob


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-05

Either Way, Nobody Likes Compiling the Meeting Minutes

Coworker #1: I don't want Grant to see my notes.
Coworker #2: You did say "notes," right? Not "nuts"?

Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: It was a universal sentiment.


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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-05

We Just Put It in the Trunk; We'll Bury It Later

Coworker #1, walking down hallway: What's so wrong with beating dead whores?
Coworker #2: I don't really know what to say right now.
Coworker #1: See! In this morning's meeting nobody else said anything about it either. I was just saying that we need to stop talking about the budget because it's like beating dead whores. Like that saying goes. But the conversation just kind of stopped.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Jen


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-05

Ad: "With Our New Space-Saving Invention, Now You Can Be a Slut-- Even on the Go!"

Frustrated girl: My stripper shoes won't fit in my bag!

Surry Hills
Sydney
Australia


Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | wtf?
Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-05

I Hear Liberty Was a Total Crackhead

Coworker, ending discussion on Philadelphia's history: So the Liberty Bell was the bell people rang... when liberty came?

Ft. Lauderdale, Florida


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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2009-11-05

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